This.

byebye

2009-10-18T05:53:00.000-07:00

changed blog!;

www.surrealtouch.tumblr.com

a little wind please

2009-09-19T04:45:00.000-07:00

you know, everytime you ask,

i just wonder how long can i keep this up.

from you and for myself.

because time seems to reach a stop;

where things stay the same,

stagnant.

change; change; change.

these words have been ringing in my ears for awhile now.

yet, i am still awaiting for its footsteps upon my door.

i feel myself falling down

a bottomless pit,

knowing that i can't stop and i got to keep on chugging.

but i dont want to go down this lane.

i want to have my own path, my own well to fall through.

the answer's beating in my heart,

i know that.

and yet, i am too detached to embrace it.

i am leaving it all to fate, i guess.

went to meet with huiwen in the morning to rush CID:) its kinda nice but the colour's weird. but it creative! hahahaa, joining OM CID4 next year:) and mrs lim told us, we can slack for thr entire year after april. 100 minutes for every CID lesson. hahahaha. meeting huiwen again on monday to chiong.

this whole week i have been going out and wasting lots of money. D: man, i prefer CCA leh. at least i wont get fat. i am going to mug my ass next week. yes, cross my heart. because, at the rate i am going, i am walking to nowhere. yeahhh.

i am thinking alot lately. save me, someone. talk.

byebye. :D chiongchiongchiong!

it looks the way you see it.

2009-09-14T07:20:00.000-07:00

the feeling of waves will never let you down;
unlike some things.
and, i am going to fight this.
and win.
i bet my ass.

yawns, went bloghopping.
everyone's talking about mugging.
aiyoh,
buy everyone a mug for eoys lah.
well, uh, first day of schoool
havent got my spec back so dumb lorh.
and ppl were mem-ing the speech hahaaa.
i didnt send in ppt yayes:)
but i am presenting tmr!
my dad was looking at the empty space in front of me
when i was mem-ing the speech.
LOL.

my eye circles went a few rounds this morning,
super ZOMBIFIED when i woke up.
what did i do in the holidays.
i found out i didnt blog about it at all:

monday; celebrated yiyao's birthday. super nice because (ky)2 were there and we finally wore something similar HUHHH. hahahahaaa. yeah, and it was nice talking and eating and everything;) went shopping. promise to go back to iluma. no, i wanna go orchard. damn i want to step into ion. they should have another shopping centre called molecule LOL.

tuesday; forgot. ohyeah, went to BBSS to play friendly match. huiwen and i won yayes;) LOL, and coach was like super what that we are not going to be seeing each other till 1 month later. i think he's scared he will see 30 pigs instead.

wed; went to starbucks with DIONE! yupps, love her. went to vivo and shop around. and went to starbucks and mugged. decided to go home and burn the stupid fats away and went to run 5km. yeah, 10 rounds around my condo. LOL.

thursday; went to mug in the morning with dione again; went payer meeting in the aft. it was reallyreally good! hahahaa, had a fun time fellowshipping cos they were making fun of wendy LOL. then went for tuition in bugis till 7pm YAWNS.

friday; went to school for 3 hours of grueling physics. went to lunch with kailun and pris. hahaha, i had fun talking to KL. then went home and went VIVO again to watch 'where got ghost' with dad and brother LOL. i think its okay lahhhh.

oh i havent filed my chinese yet. tsk. oh and

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLEMENTINE!

seeyou people. :)

gotta be on the move.

2009-09-11T07:52:00.000-07:00


"Already Gone"
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die...

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop...

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Ahhhh already gone, already gone, already gone
Ahhhh already gone, already gone, already gone 

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye...

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on,
So I'm already gone

sometimes, we have to look up and turn around; 
or else we will just miss it. and, 
i dont want regrets anymore. 
kaixin

new news.

2009-09-08T09:27:00.000-07:00

jummppps:)

played friendly match today at BBSS!
huiwen and i won our match.
yayes:)
made mistakes though,
could totally hear coach's sighs and aiyahs and ...
LOL.

its 00.18.
still doing the speech,
decided not to sleep early tonight,
gotta chiong hwk and stuffs cos i am slacking my days away:)
anyway i went to exchange my specs
so i am wearing my oldddd one.

going on study date with dione tmr at vivo;DD
didnt see her for really long time!
hope that i will get work done LOLOLOL.

i was taking stupid videos just now because i was so bored.
and i had runny nose this morning.
used up a million and one tissue papers.
germified them all.
and, kathy was really nice cos
she bot lollipops for the team:)
ohman, my juniors are nice people.

oonhim's going for the interact camp:)
and i think i am going too, double yayes.
not cos it has 70 CIP hrs but,
i think its gonna be truckloads of funfunfun
and i dont mind it taking my DEC away.
:DDD

ohkay, i am going to motivate my slow and not-moving brain to
start its rusty arse
and MOVVVVVEEEEE.
or else, i will flunk my exams D:
back to my speech, byebye people.

all's in good time.

2009-09-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

yeeteng! :)

yy's cake!

ballooons!

the lightings suck!

love them all truckloads.

miss them like nuts.

(ky)2, unforgettable.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, yiyao! :)

celebrated yy's bday tdy after bio remedial

let's start from the top.

morning woke up at seven, crawled to the bathroom...

alright, reached school and mrs lim treated 3A to breakfast!

she bought polar chicken, curry and tuna pies.

isnt she greatttt~

and we had 2 hrs of bio and we were all

chionging maths ass, bio ass and chinese at the same time.

hard life.

and went to scrap my cheek ceeeelllllls.

they will worth a million next time LOL.

and, zoomed home to change cos meeting kim and yt at 11.30

turns out that i left my house at,

uh...

11.30am instead.

hahahahahahaaaaaa.

promised them to treat them something next time.

bought cake and balloons and spent the next one hour

blowing and tying them at the sky garden.

turns out that we cant put the balloons there, ew.

in the end, they went to the grand stand to wait and

i go wait for yy at daiso.

wahhh, ownage.

she's 30 minutes late.

and i spent 30 minutes looking like a dumped gf.

LOL, but it was worth it lahhh:)

made her wear the booootiful dress we bought

and celebrated luh:)

took tons of pictures! go fb:)

and went to shop

at ilummaaaaaa! yeeahhhh, my mind's made up.

i wanna buy that striped dress, wedges/heels.

met up with glenda, yilin and michelle.

they went to shop at the bugis village for 3 hours, ohmyy.

in the end, we talked talked talked and shopped around.

then, we just pei-ed kim and went off.

yawnnnns i am tired.

but i am running short of time zzzz.

there's friendly tmr!

going kim's house to study on wed.

maybe cg on thurs and

i dont know what on fri.

"i'm just a bystander, looking in.

and nothing's gonna stand."

kaixin

tired;

2009-09-06T04:05:00.000-07:00

i am tired of waiting;
to view the limitless sky;
to see the last ray of the setting sun.
and know another day has passed without
me feeling the warmth of a human hand.
i know something's gonna work out;
but the clock's ticking.
and nothing seems to be happening.
and if you give a chance,
i will keep it safe and put it by my heart.
and i wish;

life's always on the move.

2009-09-02T04:51:00.000-07:00

played with clothes! ;)

bestieeee! :)

mascara:) HOHOHO :/

yiyao's pink dress.

tada, spent my monday afternoon in the comforts of yiyao's home.

and cheerup, BABE:)

life's not about the things that make us unhappy.

its about what we have that makes us happy.

and i will always be here and there and everywhere for you.

yeah, and study harddd for exams alright~

call me if you want to! ;DD

alright, cant wait for sat's BBQ already!

yayyayyay,

i know time's ticking away and there's only

3 months and 6 days away from exams.

but this will be the last day i can let my hair down and

lalala my day away:)

i wanna wear the tank i bought! :)

and, i got back gpa tdy.

i got a , uh, 3.6

yeahhh, highest this year for me lah.

shows that my hard work paid off! :)
yawnnnns.

and there's still a bio SPA test tmr.

hope that i wont blank out in it!

went out to eat after bio lesson tdy with kl, lk and oh.

its a nice change to eat with other ppl.

alright, gotta go now.

ciaos people.

they are my life.

2009-08-29T05:05:00.000-07:00

DOMO DRESS:) damn cute can.

memories;

cant wait for a million and one things to happen now.

yayyayyay.

i cant help but count days, minutes and seconds!

yeah, and you dont know what right.

too bad, i cant say it now.

"They laugh at you when you make a fool out of yourself.

They shout your name when the teachers look for volunteers.

They tell lame jokes that freezes you all over.

They say embarrassing things about you in front of other people.

They pull your bra straps in public.

They want you to wait for them.

They expect you to be available for them even when your schedule's full.

They tell you right to the face when the dress you want is ugly.

They will lend you a shoulder to cry on.

They will listen to your woes.

They call you cos they just want to talk.

They will go out with you to eat, shop and merrytalk.

They know that something's wrong even when you put on the biggest smile.

They laugh at lame jokes even when they are cold.

They treat you to lunch when you are broke.

They buy you the best birthday presents just to see your smile.

They are happy for you when you get good results or a boyfriend or something good happens.

and, they are friends. "

yeah, so appreciate them well alright. well, this is my definition of friends:)

training today morning was super tough, hiong and tiring.

because huiwen and i were on form and played matches with coaches!

yes, and our matches were like, 21-12, 21-15, 21-18.

we were meant to lose, however, we played quite well!

we can improve alright!

and, i think that a CCA should not be like this,

this is a team, not just associates or school mates.

it should be more than this.

i know that passion's dying and we are all drying up.

however, we should not give up on ourselves.

the only one who can change this is ourselves.

optimism is the key, alright?

i really hope things will improve, for all of us.

gotta go now:) and, i really have to, SHOP. man, i gotta have therapy shopping in the holidays, to mug for eoys. yes, icecream date, ky2!

and i really want to see your smile;

all is not lost.

draw strength.

kaixin

friday!

2009-08-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

yearthree bmt girls! :DDDDD

went to buy presents at jppp

alright, now's 12.30am. have to sleeeeep really, like, really, soon. since i have morning training at 8am. yes, usual ranting leads to deafness. anyway, i think i will probably zombiewalk my way to the traning hall hahaha. meeting some people tmr after tuitionnnn:) at bugis yayyayyay. and i shall keep it as a secret, for those who arnt supposed to know. LOLOLOLOL, secret:)

anyway, i failed chinese compre. i expected it, didnt feel any twinge of sorrow or an urge to keep up with a constant rant about luck, ahemm. alright, kidding. my chinese standard got even worse this year, if possible. ask oonhim, huiwen or rae, they heard me talking in mandarin and it totally provided entertainment for the oh-so-boring CID lessons. ah, whatever, not like i will go china to live right.

for cca, we had archery lessons and our instructor, called kaijin LOL. he's quite nice and patient too. and someone has a chaptek and we all (yr 3 girls) kept on playing with it. yeah, like one of the few times when we actually have fun together. anyway, we took a picture with the instructors (above). and, sharlene and i went to the netball court to talk to dixun. yeahhh, she gotten more tannnnn:)

met up with yao afterwards, talked till my mouth dry lorh. went to IMM! wanted to eat pepperlunch onee. >.< but short of cash. damn sad can. anyone who want to treat me, pepperlunch's totally a good choice. yeah, probably no one will see this.

yesterday, after lessons at 3.40, cheryl, laoda and i went to JP to buy teachers' day presents. yeahhhh, i wanna THANK THEM ALOT for peiing me! :) and we bot alot of nicenicenice presents, and yeah, especially TANCY one's hor, cheryl? haahhaaaaa. we saw samples of chocs so we went to try, like this, and that, and this, and that. but we bought in the end lah, or else it will be so bad for the sales people.

ciaos now, gotta sleeeeep! :)

it all stands for a cause;

and all things happen for a purpose.

kaixin.

some things;

2009-08-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

happiness; when you enjoy your summer breeze at the beach.

happiness; when you lay and feel the grass.

happiness; when you smile so wide yours jaws hurt.

happiness; when you have someone to share it with you.

happiness; when your life is colourful.

randommmming now. cant wait till fridayyyy~ :D

because it will be the end of tests,

actually got SPA on tues but nevermindddd

cos i am gg to let my hair down, off and away now

and run across the streets naked with ecstasy!

or maybe not.

(L)

kaixin!

overlook things.

2009-08-23T06:07:00.000-07:00

hahhhhhaaaa, thats me, like one year ago.

thanks zs for cheering me up ytd! ;DDDD
yupps, i forgot to smile.
and i totally should.
it makes everyone looks prettier!
even osammaaaaaa.

"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

things will definitely look up.

unhappiness

2009-08-22T07:45:00.000-07:00

the course of comfort.

i asked, and i asked again.

is it too much to ask for?

i begin to doubt myself.

went service today! :DDD with francis, yiyao and cherie.

i woke up at 7am.

yes, i didnt type wrongly.

seven am.

for training at eight.

i remember, last year,

i couldnt even be bothered to go for trng at 8am.

woke up at 8am instead.

turns out different now.

right after that, i zoomed home to eat my lunch

(wraps! totally nicceeeee)

and dad drove me to maths tuition.

yeah, late cos i forgot my phone and went up to get it again.

an aspect of my mum's genes i inherited.

quoted from my dad LOL.

after that, i went to jp to meet with yy and cherie.

i totally got an urge to shop.

i havent even gone to ION yet.

sept hols!!

service was gooood!;

i really want the new songs!

went home right after that.

i dont even feel like posting now.

life's typically, routinely boring.

and, i know that you all can overcome this tribulation;

and accept shortcomings and everything.

because what we see on the surface,

are always not what it seems.

i am not going to fall, i will use strength from God.

and from my friends too.

kaixin.

you wont.

2009-08-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

driven into a corner.

you know, you wont understand it. the risk of losing all links to the outside world. the constant throbbing pain which refuses to leave, dragging its sharp heels over my soul, leaving its unremovable traces there. the helplessness when you turn to your right and left and finding no one there. the hopelessness when you know that no matter where you find, you wont see anyone. the obvious blankness when you look into the screen of your life. the disappointment when you waited for so long and it still doesn't seem to work out.

i told myself, its alright, its okay. and yet, i dream about it, i want it so much. the pain just pierces right through. when i lose myself again, i tell myself not to be weak and gather my strength from Him instead. yes, because His love is unfailing. i am hanging to that; and ain't letting go.

kaixin.

lost memories;

2009-08-19T06:42:00.000-07:00

tried on new uniform!

3A girls! :)

class photo!

four biggg hearts!

class photo 2:)

3a girls:) love this picture lot.

when i can finally post pictures, YAYE.
finished chemistry test today. cant really say its easy. made some mistakes, ohmannn. i just had BS with joycelyn just now because wendy has exams! jiayou:) yeah, just below my house. and erms, people were liek studying maddszxszxszxsszs today. yeah, fine, i wont deny it, me too. hahahaaaaa, den in the Lt, oonhim sat between me and minghong. and both of us super kanjiong so we were kinda rushing. hahha den OH wanted to just look over and tell us, chill. LOL.

ermms, oh and i relaly hope you will clear your misunderstandings alright. will pray for you :D and i am just so relieved that CHEM's over. wanna scream this over and over again.

this is just obstacle i got to overcome and i believe, God will give me the strength to. i can get by this. maybe i think too much, this mixed feelings aint going to fade, it will come again and again like the waves come crashing over and over again. so, there's no point hankering over what you want, because it aint gg to come like that.

i really got nothing to say. goodnight people:)

wednesdayyyys

2009-08-12T06:58:00.000-07:00

things will be better;
trust.

wednesdayyys are slack:)
okay.
um,
investiture today!
first cca to get the badges.
to get the jitters, ohmy.
luckily, this time i wasnt sitting directly
under the spotlights on the stage.
because, i was during cl investiture,
sweating my hair off.
ohwell, but we are only wearing rings for
another twwooo months
before we switch to new uniform,
new school, new year and new whatever.

and cheer up , yiyaooooo:DDD
life's going up and down all the time;
and you got me and lots of other people toooo.

and uh, blogger's not fixed yet.
i really gotta switch man; i wanna post pictures.
and, ummmm, monday's class outing right.
on, lk, kl and i met up early supposedly
to eat breakfast and late and stuffs.
in the end, just slacked lorh.
some toilet joke;
yeah, i totally displayed my retardedness there.
met up with the rest of the class and
went to buy tickets!
ohmyyyy, thank God that we could get tickets to
G.I.JOE moooovie at 1.30
cos the next timing was later.
and cos there's like TWENTY of us,
we sat the entire 2nd row of GV MAX,
yepps.
suffer from neckaches lorh.
the movie was great, for me at least.
the sound effects were kinda loud
and the screeen's super biggg.
the actors are not baddd:D
Channing Tatum (duke!) is quite hot!
and the korean guy has a hot bod!
this is said by sharlene.
:)

and back to lessons, so so so siannn.
cca was so tiring;
had to lug back a whole bag of shuttles home
and back to school.
there's chem test next week! and
chinese test on fridayyyyy D:
SAD;
byebye people.
ciaos!

unfailing love;

2009-08-09T02:19:00.000-07:00

happy birthday, Singapore:)

yeah,
finally national day,
after singing one week's worth of
national day songs.
but srsly, electrico's songs for ndp is great.
yeah, ever since i heard the song on radio.

um, let's start with friday.
friday was national day celebrations at school..
MINUS the celebrations part.
come on, this gotta be the most BORING ndp
cel i have ever seen.
no concert, no marching contigent,
just a ndp quiz.
DOTDOTDOT.
met up with sharlene, grace, yiyao and qingyi.
they came my house to slack lor.
watched THE MAID,
umumummm, not as scary lorh.
its like kinda slow and dragggyyyy.
we bot DREYER's icecream and chips.
and the icecream simply wont freeze up.
super frustrating.
in the end, the three of them left, leaving me
and sharlene to watch "dodgeball".
gotta be my 6th time watching but
its still funny, nonetheless.

saturday, NO CCAAAA :DDDDD
went swimmmmmming in the morning.
wanted to get tanner, didnt help.
went for tuition zzzz
and met with yiyao for service!:DDD
the service was really, GREAT!
really powerful and impactful.
went home for steamboat dinner with relatives.
i totally love the chilli crab.

uhhhh, sunday!
went for morning tuition.
den went to shop with my mum for shoes.
okay, just breathe in,
cos there's like a total SALE going on
these few days till monday.
like, ohmyyyyyyy.
topshop has 70%, C&K has 30%.
went to shop for shoes
cos my flats broke.
saddddd, i love it.really.
um, went to look around and they all look the same
to me.
in the end i bot a pair of sandals from
charles and keith.
really unique and loveelllyyyyy.
shall wear it for class outing tmr:DDDD
and bot shoes (B.U.M.) for sch
and my mum bot nickelback sandals.

class outing tmr!
hope that it will be successful,
or rather, fun and be a blast.
see y`all later.
going to swimmmm now.
it looks super cold now lorh.
ciaos!

shit day

2009-08-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

is it supposed to be;
there's no use running anymore.
because the pain doubles.

all this while;
i thought that a reason will simply cover why it has turned out like this. i thought, till my brain hurts. it doesnt click. it doesnt. why? i asked myself a million times, and i got back nowhere from where i started.

i was simply running away, running like every morning when i ran with huiwen. but its still the same, i get back to where i started. the track is circular. there's no use running anymore, face up.

i got by each day, knowing that things will improve, hoping that my life will just turn for the better. who am i trying to kid? this is pathetic. the tears i have compressed over the past months just dripped like a leaking tap, and i dont want to suppress it anymore.

someone out there, help me. thanks very much.

dumbdumbblogger.

2009-08-02T01:27:00.000-07:00

ohmy, cannot post pictures.
yeah, i wanted to blog long ago.
just that shuuuupid blogger is so wacky
and rubbished that i cant see the options.

tuesday i got sent to the isolation room.
temp of 38.1 LOLOLOLOLOL.
and i was kinda sad, cos i missed the agm,
and i was kindof looking forward somemore.
and wednesday morning i had a fever too.
and its, PHOTOTAKING day.
like, ohmy, so SUEH lorh.
so, i rested and my dad drove me to sch at 9am.
i had no fever by then
but my voice sounded like i got dunked into
the toiletbowl for hours.
cos its kinda squeaky and hoarse.
yupps, had to gte my face on the classphoto.
cos it would feel horrible to see your classmates
looking at the class photo and knowing you
are not in it.

okay, jump to saturday.
yesterday, i went morning traning.
shar has sorethroat and coach was super paranoid.
"go home lah, the cca close down because of you ah"
LOLOLOLOL.
in the end, she just sat behind the stage curtains
coach was like,
"eh, go and check up on her later on, later she
die there."
LOL. then clem was like,
nevermind, next time can name the hall after her.
LOLOLOLOL.
then, zoomed to maths tuition.
and went home and changed.
going to FOPPPPPPP:)

i wore a black dress with golden hairband
and i wanted to wear gold flats but it got a massive hole.
ohwell.
getting new shoes alert.
anyway, i met with yiyao and trained to tiong for early dinner.
she wore a cuttte pink dress:)
umumummm, then went to kallang indoor stadium and
waited there lorh.
it was nice.
the priase and worship lasted for quite awhile.
these were a few women behind us and the sang
REALLY. OFF-PITCHED.
ohmy, especially at the loudest point in the song.
adam was laughing.
and i was bursting LOL.
ummm, the sermon was quite good too:DDDD
had to leave at 10pm
cos gotta get home early LOL.
reached home around 11 plus.

todayyyy.
i went for tuition in the morning
i want to go for cityharvest 20th anniversary.
they all going at 7am...
but nevermind.
sigh,
tuition was a waste of time i think.
i was dozing off
and what she taught was srsly,
zzzzzz.
then went to the library and waited
for my dad to come and pick me up.
went to a dimsum chinese restaurant for lunch.
the food was nice!
yeah, feeling damn fat now.
go run tmr lorh.
gotta go.
got so much hwk.

i left my maths hw in school.
LOLOLOL.
thank bryan for scanning it to me.
gotta go now.
ciaos!

power.

2009-07-25T07:04:00.000-07:00

what i want; what i feel like; what i need.

kaixin.

harrypotter.

2009-07-24T07:14:00.000-07:00

look beyond the norm;
find your own happiness cos
it doesn't drops from the sky.

JUMPSHOT with sharlene!:)

threeee of us. ohmyy, i am the shortest one.

this woman came out and told us not to seat on the cows. scared we break them, i expect. hah.

HOHOHOOOO. the normal picture:)

lets start with:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHARLENE!

and,

YOUSHENG!

yeah, i remembered your birthdays alright,
i am a really great and niceeeee friend.
and, sharlene was totally funny.
by STEPPING on her birthday present when yy and friends
put it on the stairs.
hahahaaa, and its really PREETTTTY white:)

ohkay, this week i didnt blog.
yeah, because of the two terrorising tests ,
BIO and PHYSICS. they can kill.
yes, because bio's on wed and i melted all my braincells
just trying to stuff the how-i-breathe-plus-the-movements-of-my-chest-which-moves-so-many-times-a-minute information into my insufferable brain.
and right after that,
i gotta mug for physics.
ownedddddd.
the physics test was quite hard luh.
lloyd finished it with 15 min to spare.
like, GG.

CID was quite fun.
yeah, because of my really-lousy-and-probably-you-will-laugh-your-earwax-off-when-you-hear-me-speak-mandarin, i was amusing all of them,
FOO-FOO,
PEH-PEH,
SEE-SEE.
lololololololololololol.
nothing to do lah.
anyway, i landed myself in chinese remedial again.
its just a matter of time luh.
okay, i am supposed to feel sad.
"sigh, kaixin, why are you so lousssyyyy in chinese?
go read the newspaper now!"
okay, self-telling doesnt work. hahahahahahaaaaaa.

finally, CCA starts!
yeah, today's wasnt my cca day.
but we still went:) cos we are hardworking people.
hahaa.
cca leaders are known le.
well, almost all cca leaders are known le!
3A has 6 i think.
3L has 8, woahs.
congrats, YIYAOOOOOO:)
and sharlene of course! cheeeseeeeeee:DDD
oonhim told me theirs gotta wait for another 2 weeks.
wow, the suspense will kill.

and, i finally saw XIAOJUN!
yeah, he came back today!
grace, you should have came for trng!
he was speaking with this scotlandish twanggggg.
or accent hahaaaa.
but its really great to see him again!
he doesnt look different though.
yeah, my ex-ex-ex- CCA leader!
one of the bestttt.

and thus, i end my day.
gotta play my tune.
kaixin

you are not alone.

2009-07-13T06:43:00.000-07:00

how i wish, that can be true.

okay, you so dont wanna see this.

so, just click the x button or go somewhere else

which is filled with happy and lovely posts.

"i just feel that i am alone.

in the this world i built.

it aint bright.

it aint lovely,

nor is it beautiful.

it has a slow, still, stagnant ocean.

the bright sunset lowering itself onto the ocean.

the stillness of the water is just like my phase of life now,

somehow, i am stagnant.

i have stopped somewhere.

i cant get out of it now.

the sunset is the end of my problems.

the reason why i wake up.

the reason why i walk on.

the reason why i can smile.

i believe that God will see my problems

and light up my life,

and rid of all the darkness.

i walked on and on,

and now i doubt whether i will ever reach this sunset.

and yet, no one ever asks.

or care.

or even see my unhappiness.

this happy facade of mine plastered over

all the emptiness weighing my heart.

yet no one knows.

all i ask now is,

that i can overcome this now.

that, i have the strength and belief,

that my life will come around now.

i just hope,

this wont be another hopeless plea."

and dont worry too much, this is just the shit that i have been compressing since ages. and today's a great day too:) despite the monday-blues-plus-lessons-all-the-way-till-3.40-when-everyone-is-holding-hands-and-going-everywhere-plus-englishICAS-from-4-to-5, the lessons were sorta fast and the $#%# likai keep GL-ing me. tuesday!:)

ciaos people:)

monotone.

2009-07-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

love.
i tied that with two pins! yes, no rubber bands haaaaaaa.

yeah, my brother. stunts.. stunts.

sssh, dont ever tell him i posted this!

cos he wanted to point finger at me and we ended in laughter hahaaaaa.

elearning is overrrr.

actually i think its not even elearning luh.

its like tons of print-yourself-cos-the-sch-trying-to-save-money-homework.

okay, i finished reading "marked"

gotta admit, the book's niceeeee,

yeah, i really gotta go to page one and buy the 2nd book.

:DDDDD

erms, going to cg tmr at 4pm.

after tuition.

i logged on in the morning to do ivle work.

talked to jiale.

den logged out to lunch.

and i just logged in an hour ago

like 10 plus and jiale was, eh yr lunch so long ah?

zzzzzzz...

he own, logged in from morning till now.

zomg, i have nothing to say. forget it. byebye. :)

elearning tmr:)

2009-07-09T04:49:00.000-07:00

(ky)2!

yeah, went to starbucks on YOUTHDAYYY with
zs, kim, yt and yy:)
did much work though.
like, physicssss.
anyway, mr imran is nice:)
cos he gave youthday lollipops!:)))))

okay, sniffing like some hungover teenager
in some American street who is obsessed with cowglue.
cos i went swimming just now.
and why,
cos the classroom's sooooooo hot
and i was feeling HOT and sticky.
yeah, splashed into the pool like some cannonball.
swam 20 laps and i still went to the jacuzzi pool
and slacked there despite the strong winds.
this is the results of that.
damndamn!

um, ELEARNING tmr:)
mass online.
yeah, would be great if they didnt give such a
monstrous pile of work
that had me hyperventilating like some pig.
ummm, harry potter and half blood prince coming out!
fifteen july!
gogogogogo, get cha tickets alright.
watching with sharlene and friends;)
i was looking at the harry potter ... premiers pictures,
Emma Watson's vintage dress was really lovely.
but Daniel Radcliffe looks short next to her,
her heels, maybe?
and, the previous photo of the trio had
daniel radcliffe sporting some sort of moustache.
urghh. he looks much better, hairless.

i srsly got a grudge against h1n1 now.
like, why cant we sit with people, hello
we are literally touching whatever everyone else is touching luh.
like, the canteen tables, the classroom tables,
the door handles.
and i really wanna go back to CCA.
even if we gotta do the killling-lunges,
the multiple racket-swings and
all that really tiring and horrible footwork.
cant believe i am saying this.

ermms, i gotta go now.
ciaos people:)

snap out of it.

2009-07-02T04:08:00.000-07:00

i want it. yes, i do.

hahahaaaaaa. yeah, bought a bright PINK wallet
just recently. yes, no regrets.
ummm, well, first week of school:
duh, lessons were drainingggg
and canteen food is hard to even look at.
oomhim totally agrees.
cant they change the menuu.
okay, i shant complain that much.

i went out to catch a moooovie on tuesday!
with, grace, shar, yiyao and qingyi.
wanted to watch 'drag me to hell'
but the timings aint right
so watched transformers 2 in the end.
because everyone is talking about
how HOT megan fox looks in the movie.
well, te first scene she came out,
was when she was leaning over a motorbike.
cooolioxzaszzsx.
hahahaaaa, yeah, great figure
and really striking features too.
and, you know, she expects her boyfriend
to get a tatoo of either her face or her name.
ate lots of popcorn! :DDDD

oh and there were around 4-6 people missing
from the class everyday
because of h1n1 and ...
they cancelled OBS, heard on sunday night.
ew.
spoilt my mood.
i was looking forward to that alright!
sadsadsaddddddddddd.
alright, maybe not the splashing in the mud,
sleeping in tents and swapping at mosquitoes who keep you awake
and trudging on in soaked and muddy shoes
and a million and one things you gotta suffer.
but the fun of company ~~~~

damndamndamn. my efforts are not enough i guess.
because my results simply arnt up to my expectations.
no, i am not talking about studies here.
punch yrself if you were thinking about that.
i am so 'urgghhh'
that people still complain about what they have
and what others want, yet doesnt have.
and me,
i dont think that i can get it anytime sooon.
get over the disappointment.
should be used to it already i guess.

read a great book yesterday, called "heiresses"
told the whole story to oonhim
saysaysay until my mouth dried up hahaa.
anyway, i am hopeless in typing mania.
i keep pressing the wrong keys
and everyone's beating me.
i and gg to brush up on it.
ciaos beautifuls. :)

just one month.

2009-06-26T07:43:00.000-07:00

i was waiting for dione to change LOL.

we both wore vests! without knowing.

yepps, that was ummmm, wednesday night.

i met her at 5 plus,

and before that i had WKW cup right.

so i rushed all the wayyy home after it

to change and all.

hahaaaa, we wore vests without telling each other.

uhh, went to vivo

and we were both famished.

yeah, i havent ate anything since 11am that day.

went to pastamaniaaaaa

i 'tally love the chicken sausage pasta.

um,

then we trooped around to get my wallet

and her bikini.

yeah, i buying her a bikini top as a bday present.

and we can go suntanning together y'know.

in the end, we bot it frm warehouse.

and i was considering the pink wallet frm river island~

yeahh, d has the black one.

and the pink version looks funky and really CUTE.

so i decided to get one too.

tmr i guess.

lalalaaaaaa, i am chionging homework now.

yawns.

the powerpoint for chinese.

yawnyawnnnn.

okay, i gotta go.

man, i was taking burst shots with my brother just now.

laughed like nuts.

cos we were doing reallyreally WEIRD poses

including bootyshaking LOL.

shall upload on fb

or not.

hahaaaaa, seeyou people.

help.

2009-06-22T05:43:00.000-07:00

a day at ikea.

i went into a patch of problems last week.

fell sick!
okay, thanks to my, parents! they went around and
bought ALL sorts of food so as to cure my sickness
and i really appreciate that:)
well, all i can say is that, its cured!
and i really hope it wont come back again.

next, friends right.
i became really insensitive and said some bad things
to clementine.
so, i am sorry clem.
really sorry.
thanks for being a great bud during WKW
and seeyou babe on wednesdayyyyy.
thanks for your support too:)

and, badminton, WKW cup:
yes, huiwen, love you for being my partner
and we really have been through it huh?
being nervous, losing, irritated,
losing confidence lalalalaaaa.
but nevermind, we won today!
yes, although we were farfarfar away
from our normal standards, i am sure
we can do it well on wednesday.
and yeah.
i am gonna make a habit of walking home
from the mrt LOL.
a wet and lipsticky and pink kiss for you from me!

yeah, thanks to yiyao cos
she prayed for me before she went to thailand.
and since you are going through a rough patch now,
i will do the same for you!
dont be sad alright,
because hols gonna end short
and i am sure you can solve your problems soon.

thanks to GRACE cos she came to support us
for WKW on friday
all the way to arena country club.
love your shoe anyway. gonna post it up soon.

oh and SORRY, oonnnnn.
because of my comps,
i cant be there with you on CIPs.
hope you dont get quarantined!
-winks-

and, what else.
i wanna go beaching with someone.
SUNTANNNNN!
hahahahahhahahaahaaaaaa.
retarded smile now.
sigh because hols end so soon.
i am getting really moodish
and absolutely not excited for anything else.
urgh.
school.
you voted yet?
if not,
go vote now LOL.

seeyou people. love you. and smiles.

stomachache.

2009-06-16T04:46:00.000-07:00

AVIVA!~

lucy dont wanna come into the picture D:

this is called, the "sharlene pose".

we advertising for "LI-NING" LOL.

finally a normal picture.

we were trying to be as tall as sharlene LOL.

hahaaaaa, so fun so fun.

aviva finished on sunday.

shar's dad drove us there, all the way to KALLANG.

the matches were quite tense.

shar and i got there first,

reserved like 4 seats,

super paiseh lorh.

the women doubles were quite great hahaaaaa.

indonasia's supporters were like, woah.

got mascot somemore!

then, woman singles xiexinfang lost.

sad.

men doubles was a disappointment D:D:D:D:

mixed doubles- china-china finals LOL.

men singles! BOONSAK vs BAOCHUNLAI.

got this girl in fornt of us,

crazy one.

keeps shouting, " BAO CHUN LAI! JIAYOU! YOU CAN DO IT!

COME ON! COME ONNNNN!"

cos she's from china i expect.

then the guys in front turned around and

gave her that look.

and the whole group of them moved out of their seats

at the last part.

must be cos their ear drums cant take it lah.

anyway, jaslin and sharlene went in front to

get boonsak's upclose and persoanl picture LOL.

jaslin, shar, grace, esp brenda

are really great fans of BOONSAK lol.

eheh, he's 27 leh.

okay, yesterday. i fell sick.

holidays nehhhhhh!~

but nevermind.

i stayed home all day, to sleep, watch tv,

and finally, realise its mad to stay home everyday.

dont know how people does it.

online, i guess.

that's why, computer is such a great invention.

after AIRCON, that is.

hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa.

umum, i am looking forward to this sunday!

no, not cos its father's day.

because, my uncle's giving treat and

there's gna be a karaoke session too.

:):):):)

okay, i gotta fly.

ciaos, sweet butterflies.

second week.

2009-06-12T19:02:00.000-07:00

SHOPPING. yayyayyayyay.

WEDNESDAY:

anyway, i went orchard with yy on wed. desperate for a bag. uhuh. went to far east and met with wendy:) and we walked around. i wanna go back and get those BANGLES. wendy wanted to buy shoes so we walkedwalkedwalked to find those shoes. and seriously, shoes at far east look ALL THE SAME. so we trooped to wisma, C&K!

the bags at far east look like they can only be used for a few months so i went C&K to look at the bags too. they are much better and i almost bought this black one. but wendy and yiyao were rejecting both bags that i chose. cos one of them approves of one while the other objects. but anyway, wendy found her shoes and she went off.

we went to try on dresses. yeah, i wanted to buy but its so short and personally, i hate tights. okayy, so i bought my bag at osmose. looks great enough. and yy bought a dress at hula&co. went home with my legs howling in pain. did i mention my morning training was a killer? yes, it was footwork day. did one and a 1half hour of footwork.

THURSDAY:

i went to orchard again. not to shop. to do flag dayy. ohmyy. i did 2 shifts, one in the morning. one in the afternoon. in the morning wasnt that bad because there was shade and my legs were aching nuts by standing there for FOUR hours straight. yes, no rest at all. because huiwen doesnt wants any so i didnt, either.

then, in the afternoon we did the same thing. except there was a glaring sun and the construction work was really noisy. i was counting the minutes to SIX oclock. we went back to AMK and gave back the can and all. then, we went to take 166 from AMK. its like, the terminal. we took 1 hour nd 20 minutes to get home. afterall, we got seats!

you know what, next time you see anyone doing flag day, just donate alright. 20 cents is alright too.

FRIDAY:

went to training. i was PMSing like some crazy asshole. i am so sorry, huiwen. >.< >shall not disappoint you and coach. anyway, i went home after that. went out with mum, brother and cousin to vivo and eat sakae sushi for lunch. they booked tickets to DRAGE ME TO HELL. yes, i missed that because i am gg with sharlene, grace and lucy to aviva. awwwwws.

they have this sure-win jackpot at GV. you just scan your card at the machine and you will win something. the person in front me won DOROTHY PERKINS voucher, 20% off $80 of goods. and i got, PAGE ONE, instead. ah well.

okay, i met with they all, cabbed to the stadium from kallang mrt, after waiting for the bus which didnt come after 30 minutes. it was reallyreally hot. and it was a blast! yes, i saw xiexinfang. she was playing boonsak's sister. she won, duh. and. boonsak's really hot. i agree. hahahahaaaaaaa. and we stayed there to see all the matches. and we left at 10 pm.

and, singapore men doubles lost! but they aint that bad. they were on par with indonasia's men doubles. their match was really tense, cos its was one point for one point and it was so fast. they played rubber match but lost 21-18. super close alright. the crowds was going, yes, ahh, oohh, go, and all that.

ohyes, i saw christopher lee. li ming shun. at aviva LOL. he was wearing this black hat along with this geek glasses. looks weird with his beard anyway. hahaaaaa. should i go for today's avaiva? hmm. still thinking about it. okay, this is a loooong post. seeyou people:)

you think i dont?

2009-06-03T03:37:00.000-07:00

you asked me, why dont i want to.

i lied, and replied, what for

i dont wait anymore
i looked far beyond and realised something.

dont want more

and just cope with life first.

because He will somehow, open a door for you

when you walked down the passage of time.

i shall not want more then.

and face the world in front of me.

i shall walk on;

even when i fall, i will not cry.

holidays- i have been waking up at 7am ever since monday for trainings, yawns. let see, i went training on monday morning, reached school at 7am. no kidding. to run with huiwen and afterwards, training was really tough. i went to eat with janice and went home. after that, i went out with my brother to suntec to meet up with my mum. did some shopping and walking around. i am desperate for a bag now. i keep seeing those small bagpacks and those are a definite no-no. i think i will continue shopping for them then.

on tuesday, i went to run with sharlene in the morning and i made a fruit salad! yes, i put sunflower seeds and it tastes loooovely. i went out to meet huiwen at bugis and we went for CIP. yes, i need CIP hours now so we just slacked at the clinic for 2 plus hours. we practically talked everything and we went to bras brasah artfriend to get our CID stuffs and went home.

today, i went training and was late by, 25minutes? yeah, i overslept and i met up with the awful jam. and i went for physics after that. yawning and freezing in LT4 cos i was wearing fbts and its really cold! i went to meet shar soon after and we wanted to rent horror movies to watch at my house. but we are not 16 so they wont rent it out to us. SIXTEEEN! just, half a year more, and i cant wait to turn 1616161616! hahhaaaa. i am gonna celebrate it by watching a nc16 movie. wait, i can pass it off now hahaaaa.

there is a sports camp tmr. yawns. so, people, ciaos.

i just hope that i will be true

to my promise,

and stick to it.

kaixin

crystal clear sky

2009-05-29T04:52:00.000-07:00

it's the top.
we have reached.

5 minutes.
4 minutes.
3 minutes.
2 minutes.
1 minute.
.
.
.
.
it's the HOLIDAYS. ahemms.

just one, beautiful boxes of days, of time, perched on the calendar of june, smiling at me and reminding me, what kept me going through the times of hardshhip, gloom and tears. yes, the holidays.

ahah, exaggerating. anyway, i am rather free so ask me out, anybody. hmmm, i got CIP, yes, someone here is desperate for CIP hours. because the hours which i accumulated is so smallll. and sharlene wants to watch, the uninvited.

it looks super scary, ohmyy. i think i have to shut my eyes even when i am bathing, if not, i will be imagining this long-haired, white-faced and freezing woman staring me. hahahaaaaaa, maybe she's jealous. wow, thanks.

anyway, i went for maths tuition just now. like, last day! of school. such a downpour. ewewew. and i was, seriously, dozing off during class. and i got an urge: to go rockclimbing! yesyesyes, i just need to find someone and somewhere to go to.

keep it in check;
dont explode, dont blow.
nobody appreciates a bomb.
kaixin

the way it is.

2009-05-27T05:38:00.000-07:00

push forward,
and break boundaries.

CROSS COUNTRYYYY: well, its better than i thought! because, all my friends are in UG.

okay, anyways, i got 17th place! yeah, and i got only 29th last year. this proves that, morning runs are useful hahaaaa. cos i used to HATE morning runs with a vengence. i hate getting sweaty and having to fit into a thick and hot uniform with a pouring head. and i am okay with it now.
see, people do change.

ohyeahhh. congrats to nicholas and jaslin! they got into top 15 this year! man, i am going to get into top 15 next year too! and, i went home and HUIWEN and talked lots on the way. and i went home, ate lunch went out again.

i met huiwen and bus-ed to bukit timah plaza and did our CIP there. yeah, it was admin work and i wore like, skinnies. its more formal right, than shorts. and i wore my new vest i bot on sunday. heartheartheart it. and we did 3 hours of talking, calling, cutting, pasting..... and then, we walked to macs to slack. we saw some badminton guys there! i was like, huh? seems like they went to lan and we went off.

we took some pictures and crapped on the bus. and we went home. i am still at episode twentyyy sigh. i feel really slow, oh i am watching boys over flowers the korean version. i L gujunpyo! heartheartheart eyes. hahaaaaa. oh yes, THANKS GRACE for the aviva tickets. heartheartheart you too.

no one can set a standard for you to follow.
just follow your heart.
and it will lead you.
kaixin

shocked

2009-05-21T07:30:00.000-07:00

why? i wonder, ponder,

and i still cant get any answer.

anyway, shock of the day: kris allen won american idol. he actually beat ADAMlambert! zomg, i was so sure adam lambert will just own everyone and emerge as the nest american idol because he's so super talented and different from all the others. kris allen? he reminds me of david archuleta, just that archuleta's cute.

ah, shuttup about that. and, i am not sure whether i should go run for student council. yeah, i am considering. well, my results arnt that great and i am already running out of time. all odds are against me.

and, i know. you just postponed, cancelled again. like, the 5th or 6th time? apologies are not needed, its okay. i am used to it. disppointments are something that you be immune to after awhile. sighs, its alright. oh, and happy birthday.

yes, i am in a emotional turmoil now, becuase of some stuffs that turned my brain upside-down. i dont know why but i am having major moodswings now. not happy, moody. it's happpy, and then, sadddd. and i will get all, gloomy. >.<>

i am straying away from my goal.

wake up, kaixin.

time to get your butt cracking.

stoned.

2009-05-19T05:07:00.000-07:00

letting go.

tuesdays, are typically BORING days with zero climaxes which you will actually look forward to. except for, trainings.

i never thought i will actually say it but, yes, i enjoyed today's training at CLEMENTI zomg. i thought that place was nightmarish because of the annoyingly strong winds and the sian atmosphere which you will get when you step into the place.

and, dont worry, clementine, sharlene and grace, i am sure you can improve alright! smile. sharlene told me that its way bad to get bad results on a cca day. i disagree. i think it is better to cheer up with your cca mates, rather than face the walls at home, or walking aimlessly in vivocity with only a few friends. i bet your conversation will still be surrounding the topic of bad results. and, at the end of the day, you won't feel any better.

i got back chinese, if you are wondering the cause for this outrageously negative post. i totally flunk the whole paper 2 with outrageously bright colours, and i can only hope that my paper 1 can pull my outrageously low marks up. oh please, let me get a c5! however, i am thankful i got a2 for biology.

alright, i am going off now. i will be running 8 rounds tmr for PE lesson. and my calf's aching! i should measure it daily so that i can check whether i am exercising too hard and if it actually increases in size due to muscles. i will be so sad.

and my coach shaves his leg hair, like OMGGG. cos he wanna join a hunkk competition and huiwen and i doubts if he can get into the finals, sorry, no offence. but anyway, we were laughing our asses off because we saw the bristles on his legs and it looks like chicken's feet, hw says. super funny.

alright, byebye people. dont miss me:) and sharlene, i love smacking you.

a beat, a rhythm.

2009-05-18T04:43:00.000-07:00

the way it always is;

okay, monday's the bestest day of the whole week.

becoz there's so lil lessons, i feel totally happy when i get outta school.

well, i got my physics results today! like, A2,

BUT. its sad.

cos i RETEST right, i gotta take the average of other people's results and mine.

and the other people who, like me,

failed the previous physics test.

ah, so i have a c5 for physics instead.

should i already be prepared for this when i got fluentised?

anyway, i totally adore the kdrama,

cos I THINK TALL GUYS ARE HOT.

tall, but not fat.

whatever, i am pretty bored right now.

oh, yayes, wednesday's gg out with ky2 to island creamery:)

icecreammmmm:)

cheers me up like truckloads of cash and a street of shopping malls.

naws, they are quite far apart, really.

cant wait to go out and shop during the hols.

i am going to plan out a whole list of things to do in the hols!

1..... CLOTHES!

2..... BEACH! like, summertime:)

3..... i am not sure yet. will tell you nxt time.

tata people. i am in a good mood.

despite my oh-so-really-lousy-physics-results.

lalaaaa, the weather's GREAT!

the string of friends

2009-05-17T00:00:00.001-07:00

before you try, give a thought.

well, this weekend has been fun. i went out on saturday night to sakae sushi for some shabu shabu dinner. to celebrate end of exams. lalaaaaa. and i feel like shopping. but after months and months of desire, some of it has died off.

this is a short post because i want to go and watch a drama now. byebye people.

i just dont get it

2009-05-14T02:43:00.000-07:00

you cant play on broken strings
you cant feel anything.

i am never satisfied with anything. i just want more. more. more. and i hate myself for this. when i feel that my life is great at that rare, lovely moment, i fail to appreciate and i would wonder, what if...

and now, i am jaded, exhausted, drained out. i have put much effort in what i am driving for, yet the results seem so insignificant compered to others. why, i thought, why am i inferior to others? how, do i overcome my own weakness then?

yes, we are never satisfied. if i am not hungry, not greedy, i could hardly be called human, can i? so, i must have a drive for better, greater things. i shall not allow myself to be stoppped here. my light will not be cut off by a mountain. i will move this mountain in front of me, no matter how it exhausts me. because, i dont want to be afraid. i want to stand up.

yes, i want to believe. i want to believe in love again. it is true, you will feel warmth when your friends look for you, seek for you. i dont feel any warmth in the cold classroom. i feel that i am on a lone island with my shadow as my company and i got only the walls to speak my mind to. i submerge my confusion in waters, hoping to find solace and comfort in it instead.

why, why. i dont have any speck of enthusiasism in my no longer; i only have my mind focused on a goal. i lost my warmth, the aura that abounds when i interact with others. i am cold, unfeeling and stony. call me, stoneman. i lost myself, this year. a half year has passed, i am stupid to live in the past. yet, i am not.

i just cannot find myself. who am i, this unsmiling, lost, girl? where has the happy, laughing, optimistic, crazy, shopping-nuts woman gone to? where has her friends gone to then? they have moved on, to many other friends. yet, i am stuck here, unwilling to face up to truth. try, girl, try. because you can do it, and you will.

i will find a way out;
know it and memorise it as if
it is my thread of life.
kaixin